i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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