i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
