Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
