I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
