Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
