I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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