Dual....:-)
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
