that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
