He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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