what day is it and did you see me today?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
