thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
