Barsexuality is the new black.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
