dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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