doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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