i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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