It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
