Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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