My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
