i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
