he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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