Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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