At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
