The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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