ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
