She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
