Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Randomize