It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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