I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize