Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
