the condom got lost in my hair
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
