drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
