I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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