we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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