Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
