Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
