i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
