This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
