Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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