She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
