I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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