I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
