I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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