i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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