Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
