Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
