I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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