Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
