if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
