i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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