I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
