Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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