Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Found your dick twin last night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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