just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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