you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
