i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
