do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
