when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
