He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
