apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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