I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
