I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
