your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
