girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
