I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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