you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize