i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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