Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
