That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
