Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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