oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
