I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
