I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
