so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
