We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
