You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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