I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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