I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
